I say again, give and take. Let’s reverse the order: take and give! Take your prospect’s story and only then give yours. Now let’s pair our elements up a little more tightly.
For your prospect’s desired rewards story, give your own efforts story. How will you begin, work and complete your efforts to gain your prospect those rewards?
For your prospect’s recognition story, give your own abilities story. How can your abilities ensure the needed recognition your prospect must procure? Let’s linger on that one for a moment.
There are schools of psychological thought that reduce all of human life down to developmental stages. In all such approaches, the ultimate stage always has something to do with the Golden Rule. We discussed perspective shift. Here, please recognize that 99% or more of human ability is used EXCLUSIVELY in the search for one’s OWN rewards and recognition. There is a tremendous lifelong programmed disbelief in thinking that someone else will use their ability on your behalf. How do you come to be so mature, so advanced, so good, so honorable and so confident that you can use your abilities on behalf of someone else’s recognition? Believe me, there’s a story in there!
For your prospect’s respect story, give your own know-how story. See above about perspective shift and the Golden Rule, again. But beyond that, the story here, and it really may be the ultimate story of relationship, is found in the answer to this question: Do you know how to respect? Is true respect, in all its reach and force, a form of know-how that you’ve attained? Why should I believe you’ll actually respect me? Fie, I don’t even know you yet. Pshaw, you’re going to have to work hard to make me believe you. Are you ready? What’s your know-how story?
For your prospect’s power story, give your own knowledge story.
A frequent rant of mine is that people don’t know how to think. I wish we had a different word for the kind of thoughts that we all have by instinct. Perhaps I have to qualify my rant with the stuffy word “formal” like so: people do not know how to engage formal thinking. But really, people don’t know how to think. Honest. My proof, you ask? Try to get just about anyone to account intelligently for the cause and effect relationship between their current action and the desired outcome. Often, oh my, you’ll find that the desired outcome is something, ahem, that they haven’t even thought about, let alone visualized. Cause and effect…? Perhaps you get my point.
Deep in the very bowels of your ability to create value for me is your knowledge. The ultimate story of the meaning of your knowledge is that you actually have the ability to use it to build my power.
There’s a word for this relationship, but no one ever thinks of it this way. The word is “friendship.”
If you wish to be my friend, learn how to build my power for me. If you wish to test whether or not I’m a worthy friend to you, skeptically consider whether I build or, on the other hand, feed off of your power. And stop all that shy stuff about denying your power need, already, will you? We just don’t have time for that. You need power, and by all means, you have some. Just not enough. So, if I’m your true friend I must know how to build more power for you. Period.
That is why I propose that every Don needs his Consigliori. Building your power is the joyous obligation of a friend. But, but the skills required to do so professionally…well, they honestly require someone a lot like me. That is me, personally, Pasquale.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Next time, we’ll bring this all together and wrap up. Until then, here’s to your power…but also your respect, recognition and rewards. And, if you care to speak, you can know in advance, I will use all my knowledge, know-how, ability and effort for you. I promise.
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